Top 5 Most Bizarre Oscar Acceptance Speeches

The Academy Awards are watched annually the world over by billions of people. They tune in for the fashion, the pageantry and all the pomp and circumstance Hollywood’s biggest night has on offer. And for years the Oscar telecasts have delivered untold memorable moments in the form of tuxedoed and gowned members of film’s ruling class. Emotionally charged – some might even say manic – speeches abound (Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, et al). There are moments of quiet dignity (Charlie Chaplain accepting his lifetime achievement award in 1971), as well as moments of unbridled enthusiasm (Cuba Gooding Jr).

And there are also bizarre moments. Many, many bizarre moments.

A lot of actors have a tendency toward eccentricity, and this has oftentimes been underscored during Oscar acceptance speeches that have veered dangerously close to the edge of the cliff – if not driving over it completely. So in the interests of celebrating the less polished and more narcissistically emboldened of awards acceptance speeches, here is a top-5 list of some of the most bizarre Oscar speeches throughout its long and storied history.

Donald Ogden Stuart -- 1941

The Oscar telecasts are drowning in false modesty – to the point that you can almost feel every nominee’s inner ego screaming to break loose. To this end, Donald Ogden Stuart – who won Best Screenplay for Philadelphia Story – said in his speech what at least 84% of all Oscar winners of any stripe feel at the exact moment they win: “I am entirely and solely responsible for the success of this movie.”

Alfred Hitchcock – 1968

Sir Alfred “Hitch” Hitchcock, cinema’s venerable elder statesman and master of suspense, was the very definition of the subdued English gentleman with his weird acceptance speech of the Academy’s Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award. After being lavished with praise for two minutes by Robert Wise – himself an accomplished director – Hitch took to the podium and snagged his award, while offering nothing more than a mere “thank you” – an acceptance speech and signoff all at the same time.

Actually, Hitchcock put an exclamation point on his heroically short speech with the unnecessary coda, “indeed.”

Jane Fonda – 1971

Everyone’s favorite Barbarella won the Supporting Actress Oscar for her work in the film “Klute.” Fonda nearly topped Hitch’s bizarre semi-one-liner of an acceptance speech with her brisk and pithy: “There’s a great deal to say, and I’m not going to say it tonight. I would just like to thank you very much.” This would have come off far more sober and poignant had she won for playing Helen Keller rather than, say, a New York hooker.

Jack Palance – 1991

Jack Palance won the Oscar for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role for "City Slickers," and the audience heaped mountains of applause on the grizzled screen veteran. That applause turned to scattered, uncomfortable chuckles immediately after Palance took to the mic and proclaimed, “Billy Crystal, I crap bigger than him.” The speech didn’t get so much worse after that as it did stranger. After briefly touching on the relevant theme of ageism in Hollywood, Palance decided to call it a day by dropping to the floor and doing one-armed push-ups… for some reason.

James Cameron – 1997

James Cameron won the Best Director Oscar for his little-seen art-house effort “Titanic,” which starred two semi-anonymous actors who never did manage to gain a foothold in Hollywood. In reality, this giant picture earned enough money to rival the GDP of most medium-sized countries and launched a number of careers into the stratosphere. Cameron, already a blockbuster success before helming his waterlogged tale of doomed lovers, showed that the word “shame” had no place in his vocabulary after declaring himself “The king of the world!!!” and letting loose with a series of whooping crane-like squeals before scuttling off to his mansion made of $100 bills.

The bizarreness was not so much a result of the shouting or ego or ego-fueled shouting, but due to him quoting his own movie – which is always lame and grating. Don’t think so? Imagine Sir Richard Attenborough doing an “off the cuff” Gandhi impersonation during his acceptance speech for directing the film of the same name.

These are just a few memorable moments delivered by the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences that are just teeming with brazen weirdness. And despite the changes in Oscar format over the years, any student of the human condition knows that as long as people from Hollywood are handed awards in front of a giant audience, bizarreness is sure to follow.

Paul Hinshaw has worked in the TV industry for 10 years. He blogs about TV technology and shows for a variety of blogs online. For more information on satellite TV call 1-877-558-2002