Most Bizarre Modern Jobs

For most people, work is obligatory for the sustenance of life. Few are privileged to enjoy a life of complete relaxation, and the lack of a need to make money. For those of us who take part in the daily toil which is the modern working life, here is a list to raise our spirits.

 Armpit Sniffer

When we go to the supermarket to buy deodorant, we are drawn in by all the colorful packaging and the nice scents. But, before those bottles hit the shelves, someone needs to make sure they actually do what they are meant to do – mask body odor. This job comes down to the armpit sniffers who get to sniff smelly armpits all day long to ensure that their deodorant is effective. One would presume the pay rate is pretty good, which may be the only upside to this job.

Chicken Sexer

 

The job of the chicken sexer is to determine the sex of baby chickens when they hatch, so that they can be sent off to the appropriate location for their future life, as a battery hen or dinner for four. This job requires a gentle hand (so as to not damage the wee chicks), a good eye (to recognize whether they have a penis or not) and the ability to drift off and forget that your whole working life is going to be spent looking at chicken’s sex organs.




Furniture Tester 

 

Next time you buy a new bed or sofa, think of the many men and women whose job it is to sit or lie in those things for hours to test their comfort level (this is one of those exceptions I mentioned in the introduction). Unfortunately, furniture design is not just a matter of science or ergonomics – someone needs to actually make sure they function and are comfortable. This is, of course, quite a strange concept because comfort is so subjective, but I am sure those who are in this occupation don’t complain too often.

 

Snake Milker

Snake venom is used for all manner of things, but the most important is undoubtedly for its use in medical research. A lot of venom is needed every year for this research and some poor guy has to spend all day pushing snake fangs into a plastic container in order to milk them. At least he can have the satisfaction of knowing that his dangerous task may one day save a person’s life and it would be pretty cool job title to have as well.

Airplane Repo Man

 I bet you have never thought about what happens when someone forgets to make payments on their private jet. Well – the finance company sends in the airplane repo man! He has to have an excellent flying record because when he finds your plane, he has to fly it to its destination (undoubtedly an auction house for repossessed planes). This can be a dangerous job (imagine repossessing a plane from the mob) so, sometimes, plane repo men need to bring heavies with them.

 

Sports Mascot

 Sports mascots are not just fans running around in furry costumes. They are actually paid employees of the various sports team they represent. To be a mascot you need to be athletic and fit and you definitely should not apply if you are shy. Some mascots are so popular they are more famous than the players!

Body Part Model

 

 

Modeling is not just for the beautiful – if you have good hands or attractive feet, there may be a job in modeling for you. In fact, depending on the product needing a model, sometimes you need to have ugly hands or other parts of your body (don’t forget that someone needs to be photographed for the “before” photos). Body models can make a lot of money, so don’t discount it as an option if you lose your job.

Ball Diving

 

 

Have you ever wondered what happens to all the golf balls that go into the water on golf courses? Now you know: golf ball divers go in occasionally to retrieve them. It is a highly paid job and it can be extremely dangerous (at least two people have died on the job). The best part of the job is that when you are done you can put on your plus-fours and play a round of golf.

Barnyard Masturbator

 

 The job of the barnyard masturbator is to masturbate farmyard animals for artificial insemination. They usually have two options at hand. The first is to use a rectal electrifier which sends small shots of electricity up the bottom of the animal to stimulate it from behind. The other options is to do it the old fashioned way – with their hands. Either way – I think the less said about this job the better.

Vomit Collector

 As we all know from experience, traveling on sideshow attractions can make us a little queasy. More often than not at least one person on the more exciting rides will have a little spew. Unfortunately, this produces quite a lot of vomit every day, and some very unlucky people get the job of cleaning it up. Next time you hate your job think of the poor vomit collector working at your local fair ground.

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